It's been a long time now

Since my depression has gone away this has been my motto. I truly believed that I would remain in a slump far longer than I was. I am content with my life as of right now. I feel well rounded now that I have a job and I am in college. Junior college or not, I am still content. I just wish my counterpart felt the same. I love him so very much, and it is hard for him to cope with how he feels right now. The only way to explain it is the reciprocal of what I am now. I really wish I could convey myself better tonight, but I lack the words. I am burnt out, in a sense, but I think I am semi enjoying it. Well, blogspot, I am fairly sleepy. I have a big day ahead of me, so I think I'll go to bed. More updates for my own sake coming soon........I hope.

Let the seasons begin

I enjoyed today very much. I am getting the hang of my scheduling. I even got to see the bestie! That of course made my day way better. I have promised myself to make this a regular thing, I would like to get back into the swing of things. By this I mean getting myself used to documenting my thoughts like I used to, with depth and insight. With this I am usually able to recall what happened in a certain instance and change it for the future.........brain lapse. I really have nothing to say other than that I thought today was nice. Oh fuck it.

Midnight surrounds you

Restlessness is all that consumes me as of late. College is truly an experience, and to think I am not even in a UC yet. Yikes. I haven't been too keen on writing since my new scheduling has taken tolls on my life. My sleeping patterns are better, in a sense. I am actually tired in the night, but I am plagued with fatigue and low blood sugar throughout my day, which is no fun fair. I am enjoying my courses, but am lacking in math, which I shouldn't be. I guess I am getting used to managing m time and checking the due dates regularly. It is hard not having a teacher cram what is due down your throat everyday. I have to do it myself, and that is a task in of itself. I got a B on my first philosophy paper, I am still disappointed in my writing, but it will progress. After all I do want to be an English major. With my new college experience I can say I have gained many new friends, which makes me happy and sad all at the same time. Happy because it was a small change, which is what I have been looking for, although I would like something more grand. Sad, because I have get to spend enough quality time with my best friends which pushes me away from them. I am not one who is fond of playing catch up. I really don't enjoy playing cat and mouse when contacting my friends either. The friends I have gathered at school are more so the quick fix I needed and a few of them live not to far from where I am now. That is another factor that contributes to the sadness of not seeing my friends, they live a little to far away for daily or even bi-weekly visits. It is quite disheartening. I haven't much to write, and I apologize, but then again since there isn't really a directed audience I take it back. Oh!, the weather is finally nice, well for the time being it is. The weather here in California is weird. It fluctuates far to much to really know when you will get the desired season. I hold tight, because I know it will always come. This really isn't turning out the way I would have hoped, but doesn't it always? I am still going to post this nonsense, in hopes of coming upon it later in life and laughing at myself.



Be still my heart.