From what depths.

Hello, Old friend. Long time no see. It has been awhile good friend. I have missed you. Pouring my soul into your chambers, only to be locked away forever. Do you know how much effort it takes for me to do this right now? I am straining to use my mind for good. I want to sit in the dark and wallow, but I can't. My team is cheering me on, rooting for me. I am going to be the star, I am going to shine for no one but myself. I need to be strong, but I am slipping and sliding on the idea. I always find my balance, eventually- I will stand tall soon enough, as soon as I get my head out of the muck.

I am outside in the cold now. I am alone at last, with he cold air circling around my face. The only option I have to stay warm is to type, type fast and with haste. I feel it, this cold. It hits my chest first even though I am bundled to the throat in things that only remind me of you. My chest gets colder, I feel my body begin to shiver and shake with anticipation. How long until the cold ventures down my arms and to the tips on my fingers, numbing every stroke of the keys. I feel my face now, starting with the nose and slowing moving up towards my cheeks. Will my mind freeze when my hands cease to type? Or will the blood pump through and save me from this cold? We can only find out by trial. Error may never come and this will be the entire objective of this endeavor. Am I insane for sitting out here in the night, alone with nothing but the will to show you my heart through my words, or am I perfectly sane? I will never know, but I surely do not care anymore. You give me all sorts of will to go out and do the impossible. To cure you, myself and make life better for the both of us, forever. That is a word that is ever so hard for me to utter, or type even. FOREVER, what is the meaning? I think I know now, I think I have known for a while now, but it took so long for the meaning to actually fit the phrase. You are the key I lacked. A skeleton key like myself. Ever so gently fitting into everything we can to unlock what we please but never really have the right lock just for us. You are my lock and key, and I am glad I have found you. I will wear you around my neck, forever.

I think this is what people call progress. I am ever so fervently writing, to you, to no one and to myself. Why are we so alike. You are simply an extension of my own being, which is why I think you are not real. I don't even believe that I am real sometimes. I wake up in pain knowing I AM a physical being. It pains my soul knowing I must walk .............



Interrupted. I am sorry.