For the love of God.

Let us start fresh, because that last rant was far to ridiculous for me to publish.

Well fuck, now I have nothing to write.

2010 has been a complete and udder clusterfuck of sickness inducing bullshit. I am still bouncing back, and I don't think things will be better until winter. That is such a long ways away, shiiiii-

I wish I could have last winter back. Everything was bliss then. I want that feeling back, I only get it in songs now. It is still a nice feeling but not as pure.

He stands there in front of me frustrated, cleaning frantically. He works with such caution, always gentle in all manners of life. When kissing me, holding me, working with anything. He has such a gentle touch, but his mind is troubled. I find this so beautiful though. Amazingly intriguing, I want to know him inside and out, but he won't let me. Not yet. I want to know now, but I can't and it hurts me a little. But I am madly in love with him so I will patiently wait. This is the first relationship I have ever been in that I has actually changed me. I am ever so grateful as well. I have gained patience, only a little, but still, I have gained it amongst other things. I just want to sit and stare at him and shower him in kisses and hugs. I feel as though I cannot be tamed when around him, my love that is. It just blooms and explodes when he looks at me or kisses my forehead. Sometimes I am a bitch, and I fuck up and then I feel terrible because I have hurt him. I wish I didn't screw up in the ways that I do, no matter how little. I just want to smack myself in the face when I say something stupid. Okay, stop with the negative. My head is hurting again, I should stop.




Good night.